Posted by: classyjacksonville | April 27, 2009

A N00b’s perspective


For many jaded souls like myself who have resided in Classy Jacksonville for a while, we begin to forget what caused us to fall in love with the place and its many charms initially. We forget what was going through our head when we initially went down Highway 24 and Western, the first time we passed the Gasdonalds, the first time we were cut off by a mustang. To help refresh my memory and provide the readers of this fine institution with a fresh perspective, I had the pleasure to interview a new arrival to Classy Jacksonville, Scott Sirkoski. So over delicious Thai food at one of Jacksonville’s better eating establishments, the Old Siam, I interviewed Scott to get a new perspective. Here is a transcript of what happened.


Classy Jacksonville: So, Scott, do you like Thai food?

Scott Sirkoski: I love Thai food. Is it any good here?

CJ: Actually it’s amazing here, surprisingly. The sad part is this is one of the best restaurants in town but everytime I come here, it’s deserted except for the portrait of the King and Queen of Thailand. But if you go down the road, you’ll find Texas Roadhouse packed.

SS: Yeah, I don’t get this place. It’s something else.

CJ: Yeah it is. So you just got here a few weeks ago, right Scott.

SS: Yep. I’ve been enjoying every minute.

CJ: I can tell. So, you’ve only been in the marine corps a few months, and after school, they sent you here. Did you have a choice about coming here?

SS: Haha, did they give you one? Two days before I graduated, they told me I had orders to come here. And then after ten days of leave at home, I arrived here.

CJ: So you got here, you’re riding in a cab, going down Highway 24, going towards the main gate, you’re taking in the sights for the first time. What’s going through your head?

SS: What the fuck did I just get myself into is what’s going through my head. All I see are pawn shops, tattoo parlors, car dealerships the whole way down the road, all these neon signs, not exactly the most pleasant sight. And I’m thinking, I have to spend the next 2 years of my life here? I’m probably going to kill myself. It was really just a culmination that joining the marine corps had probably been the worst decision of my life.

CJ: Wow. So you regret joining the marine corps?

SS: Yeah, I regretted it most of the way through boot camp, and then through MCT, and then coming here was really just further proof that somewhere along the road to college I got lost. Nice kids from the suburbs like me don’t join the marine corps. I’m a nice guy. I’m not really aggressive. I’m quiet and respectful. I’m a good kid. And I’m pretty much surrounded by all the dudes from high school I hated and couldn’t stand. It’s a five year long nightmare.

CJ: So if you hadn’t joined the marine corps, what would you have done with your life?

SS: Went to college like everyone else I graduated with. I’m from a pretty nice suburb outside of Charlotte. Nobody else I knew joined the marine corps. I probably shouldn’t have joined either. But here I am.

CJ: Why did you join?

SS: Well, while surfing for porn one day during summer break in between junior and senior year, I came across an ad for the marine corps and I clicked on it. And I started reading their site and was like yeah, I wanna improve myself. I want to challenge myself. Honor, courage, commitment sound like good things. Yeah. And then there’s this link to send away for more information, which I click. Next thing you know, a week later, I’m getting a phone call from some Gunnery sergeant who butchers my last name, wanting me to come in to speak with him. And there I am in his office with the little medal tags telling him what sort of things I want out of the marine corps. And well, the rest is history I guess.

CJ: What’s it like growing up in the south?

SS: What do you mean?

CJ: Well you see, I grew up in Oregon. And I’m just supposing that growing up in a different place perhaps gives you a different view about Jacksonville. You see, I view Jacksonville as being the south or at least in the south.

SS: No, no, that’s where you have it wrong. Jacksonville is this weird anamoly that has nothing to do with the rest of the south. I’m not saying that I like the south or anything. I mean I guess I do, I really haven’t been anywhere else, it’s home. But Jacksonville is an entirely different beast that could be anywhere next to any base in America. It just happens to be in North Carolina. Which is sort of unfortunate for North Carolina. I think it gives us a bad name.

CJ: But back to growing up in the south.

SS: Yeah. Well I don’t know, there were a lot of kids who were into Nascar and red neck shit. But that was never really me, and I never really fit in with them. I don’t really feel qualified talking about this subject.

CJ: Fair enough. Well, thanks for your time Scott. You pretty much confirmed everything I thought about this place. I suggest running away to Canada now.

SS: I might man. What was I thinking?

CJ: None of us know what we were thinking. But just remember, if something isn’t funny for five years, it never really was.



  1. Hi, good post. I have been thinking about this issue,so thanks for sharing. I will certainly be subscribing to your blog.

  2. Between growing up in Kailua, HI and Paris, France then going to college in Ashland, OR, Jacksonville has got to be the worst place I’ve ever seen. Keep up the good work. These articles would be depressing if they weren’t so funny.

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