Posted by: classyjacksonville | July 15, 2008

The Mean Mug

Marines don’t smile. In every building on every marine corps base, there will be in the lobby a series of photographs of whoever is in charge of that particular unit or building and also most likely a portrait or two of the marine or NCO of the quarter. None of these people will be smiling. It is a well proven fact that the world will come to an end and Camp Lejeune will fall into the sea if a marine is caught smiling on film. The last time this happened, it was a Japanese marine during world war II who was smiling at the sunrise in Hiroshima. Next thing he knew, he had an atom bomb dropped on him and the whole city was obliterated. The Japanese marine learned his lesson, and so has the marine corps. 

However, this lack of smiling extends beyond even official photographs taken in dress uniforms in front of flags, it is also a favorite past time to drive around Classy Jacksonville in your Ford Mustang mean mugging everyone you pass. A mean mug is when you stare somebody down and scowl at them like you are about to punch them in the face. It isn’t enough to just drive in Classy Jacksonville, to maintain your male primacy and dominance, you need to mean mug everyone you pass, so they know, you are about to fuck their world up. Most people in other places simply drive and ignore other drivers in other cars. But in Classy Jacksonville, a very friendly community, we like to look at other people to see who they are. Hey, they might be your friend? And if they aren’t, you don’t want to look weak, so the only thing to do is the mean mug. They know what’s going on, and everybody wins.

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